I spend a lot of time taking photos and I spend a lot of time looking them over. I search for themes in my collections. Sometimes I see color themes, some are similar hues and some give stark contrasts, while other themes are cityscapes and iron work. Today I realized I had quite a few pictures of flowers and weeds growing out of cracks in concrete and rock walls, flowers growing through fences meant to contain them and greenery bursting through thick tree trunks.
It was through these pictures that I realized the will of nature to grow and thrive no matter what the environment.
I also saw nature's will to be seen, 'heard' and appreciated.
I saw these similarities in myself.
I realized I wanted to be seen, heard and appreciated.
I realized I wanted to thrive no matter what my environment. No matter what life hands me. Be it nurturing soil or rough bark or concrete.
I realized I no longer want to feel contained, held to someone else's ideals or expectations. Ideals and expectations I never believed in but was born into. I want to find my own way, build my own ideal life, a life worth sharing.
I want to shine, be myself, be true, be strong.
I want to finally grow. Grow out of the rough concrete I was born from. Grow into someone beautiful, powerful, sure, smart, bold and ready for any storm.
I want to learn from these plants not to hold back, not to shy away, not to keep to myself. But to share the person I want to be. I want to be open, arms held out instead of wound tight around myself.
I don't want to be afraid. Afraid of failing, afraid of life so much so that I don't live it. I want to adapt, leave the rough concrete behind in the past, in my roots where it will make me stronger. Far enough away that its imprint is no longer in my present day.
happy sunday, kim