My life has been through many changes in the past three years. Many trails have been taken, some I enjoyed every step of the way. Some I tip-toed through, unsure of my footing, just to realize in the end what I had really needed to do was trust my gut -avoiding some trails is best but I never would have known if I didn't start walking on them (and trying and failing taught me a lesson in listening to, and trusting my heart). Others I set out to conquer and through encouragement and trusting someone who believed in my strength (a strength I never knew I had within me) I did indeed conquer these trails and in doing so I learned that I was capable of so much more than I had ever dreamed. All of these trails have brought me to places of beauty, places I thought my feet were too weak to get me to, places I thought I would only see in pictures. These trails also took me to places in my mind I never thought I could attain, feeling peace, strength, clarity, confidence courage and feeling like, yeah, I got this. What I learned on my feet has taught me what I am capable of at my bench and for that I am so very grateful. I have confidence in my designs, my craftswomanship, managing my workload and experimenting with new materials. It took me 36 long years to get there but getting there feels damn good.
As a night owl I had never once thought I would be up to see the sunrise. Here I am perched on the edge of a cliff off the summit of a Mount Osceola watching night turn to day.
I had dreamt of being above the clouds, I never thought my feet could get me to a place tall enough to experience this beauty where mountains look like islands in a sea of clouds.
Pink fills the sky as the new day starts. What my memory recalls isn't captured in this picture. The sky went from red, to pink, to orange, to yellow and then to this green I have never seen in a sky and finally to blue.
Then I had coffee and breakfast at 4315' as the clouds starting dancing in the sky.
If my head where still full of negative thoughts telling me what I wasn't capable of I never would have seen this. Freeing yourself of I can't is, well, freeing.
This guy and his motto of "you have no idea what you are capable of" and joining me on my first journey up a rooty, rocky, muddy terrain has made me realize that I am capable of so much more than I had thought. Thank you, curls.
One last thing, for most of my life I hid under layers of clothes. Hearing I was too skinny, or I was skinny fat, or too short, too weak, and even that too many pounds had been added to my frame, always made me think I should hide, I should give up on trying to run a mile or two or three, I was too weak to hike, I wasn't muscular enough to wear shorts. It made me hide under more than layers of clothes, it made me hide from trying to do the things I was certain I would love if I had just started on the trail toward the goals I had. This year I bought some new clothes for these new trails I was to embark on. Practical, comfortable clothes leaving me with little to hide under. I look like me, a strong woman with goals I am ready to conquer.
Thanks for reading. Get on the trail, enjoy it, hate it, but experience it, learn from it and grow from it. Don't ever think I "should" instead do it.